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03/02/2002 Archived Entry: "I'm a sick flame war junkie!"
The prolific lister Madhu "Mad Man" Menon has written a very good article on his blog about how to avoid flame wars. He illustrates and gives very good examples of how to respond (and disagree vociferously) without offending.
Of course, I still get a sick voyeristic sort of thrill watching a flame war on a list - provided that it doesn't happen too often.